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COPA NEWS
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| 150 character |
 150 character is what need bernd w for chaving 0.1 goal contingency for making 2 6:6 games in last round of championship. this championshiop is very strange championship with always same team winning. Bernd very suspicious about connection between Prafessional Futbol Ligasi and Gúzor. Maybe is because president from Ligasi is born in town of Guzor? Bernd will make detective next season for investigation... |
| 21.07.2012 11:24 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.2 TK) |
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| eingipst |
| W. im hospitalski novi beograd stop Recht hand kaputt stop W. sagt is von zugabgabe ynd zeitungartikel schreiben stop fuer nexte 10 tage rechte hand eingeschraenkt nutzbar stop fenris bitte melden: fisten auch mit gips moeglich stop smaetphoneartikelscgreiben mit gips allerdings scheisse stop...homma scho fuenfhundert zeichen fragezeichen stop oida stop |
| 25.05.2012 10:14 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.2 TK) |
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| Lakamativ-Power |
| Bernd W. facing Derby with Pakthator. Pakthtator 2nd place. Lakamativ 3rd place. Bernd says: "This ultimate game for us in this ZAT". Tashkent Derby with Traktor and Pakhtator most important game with most spektators in stadium. I promise to all fans from Lakamativ: Lakamativ will fight like express-train on superfast rails. All fast train you know, TGV, Shinkansen, ICE,...they will all look like slow bullshit-train |
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against Lakamativ Tashkent. if you want to be on destination number 1 you must take Tashkent train with Lakamativ in front. We are ready to face Pakhtator!
Only one last question remain answering for Direktar Sport, Bernd W.: "I know what is a 'Lakamativ'. I know what is a 'Traktor'. But: what the hell is a 'Pakhtator'? Can I drive it? Can I ride it? Can I fuck it?"
i don't know. |
| 18.05.2012 08:45 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| It's the Prafessional Futbol Ligasi, Stupid... |
Bernd W. has fallen in love. He spending lot of time in Tashkent Bar working on best strategy for winning football game of Lakamativ Tashkent. Miss Oksana and Miss Elvijra always helping Mister Bernd, who is Direktar Sport of Lokomotiv Tashkent.
But last night incredible things happen in Tashkent Bar. Mister W. just finish making best tactics for next ZAT with Miss Elvijra and Miss Oksana. Mister W. happy with tactics ordering |
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next round of Vodka and all of a sudden Miss Elvijra's face appear very close to Mister W. face. Mister W. who is a bit shy saying "tri Vodka, baschalasta..." as suddenly he give kiss to Miss Elvijra. Miss Elvijra look strange and immediately slap into face of Direktar Sport. Then she leaving Tashkent Bar in great scenery.
Miss Oksana look at Mister W. and saying :"I think she love you, too, Cherr Direktar..." |
| 11.05.2012 15:06 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| very interesting final |
"this very interesting final ZAT now in Prafessional Futbal Ligasi"' says Bernd W. Bernd W. famous for very sharp analysis of football game and football league in Uzbekistan Professional League. W. reading in table like in open book.
Bernd says: "this very interesting season and I very happy with results from Lakamativ. We will be at front of League Table but we will not be in very front but still is very good season for Lakamativ. We still must play internal Tashkent |
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| Cuo between Pakhtator and Traktor and I see Lakamativ only in second place at the moment. Pakhtathtor has many goal-contingeny and so has Traktor. But Traktor shoot too late. Pakhtator is serious candidate for league title, too. I hope next season we will be as strong and Lakamativ can stay big player of League as this season. For now I have not more to say as Miss Elvijra and Miss Oksana waiting for me in Tashkent Bar for last training session before ZAT cha cha cha..."...Long live Lakamativ ! |
| 23.03.2012 13:43 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| not know what to do |
This latest news from Uzbekistan capital Tashkent. Bernd W., Direktar Sport w Fudbalski Klub Lokomotiv Tashkent, sit in "Tasjhkent" Bar with Miss Elvijra and Ms Oksana and discuss tactical play for next and next ZAT.
Bernd says:"Lakamativ never been so strong and on good place. But now I calculate coal is going down and down like Bunyodkor what has made too much sex with ladies. Lakamativ still need some coal to make good |
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Jizzax with Quizilqum what cum in last round of season. Is like Miss Elvijra always wanting shoot all Jizzax for her but one must save always some coal for good Jizzax also with Miss Oksana.
Now I see Lakamativ in funny situation what is described best like in old Uzbeki speaking word what says: "Do not shag whole herd of sheep, because sheperd's wife has Qizilqum with no hair..." ...you understanding what I want to say? Cha cha cha... |
| 16.03.2012 17:10 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Lokomotiv strong in the middlest of strong |
Direktar Sport w Lokomotiv Tashkent Bernd W. can not believe looking at league table... Bernd says:
“This very emotional moment in my life what is Direktar Sport w Lakamativ. Lakamativ now number four in Prafessional Futbalski Ligasi, which is best placement ever for Lakamativ. I see Lakamativ amongst strongest teams in league. But I also see very hardest time coming up toward us. Now we |
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are in swimmingpool of shark and everybody want fucking us up. But you shall never forget: Lakamativ now is strong… Very strong. ..coming from nowhere station at bottom of league up to four place. Now we will be concentration for not fucking up good season and we know it mean shuffling coal into Lakamativ tank like fucking hell. Because we know: Lakamativ is a strong in middle of strong…”
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| 07.03.2012 16:13 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Bernd break Lance for Druga Liga, Superöttan Liga, and Uzkebistan First Divizion |
This latest news from Uzbekistan. Today no local news but globalized news, which will be spread from Uzbekistan all over world. Bernd W. speaking up to world. Bernd z Direktar Sport w Lokomotiv, what is number-1 club from Uzbeki capital Tashkent. Lakamativ Yeaaaaaaaahhhhh !
Bernd says: "Hear me, united people from Copa-World: Big sorrow filling my heart today because I see dark plan of finishing some league which is not profitable. Namely second league with name Druga Liga and Superöttan Liga shall be finished because it is wish of power of dark side.
But I have a dream:
We must solidaridize with weak league and second league and shitty league all over Copa-world. Copa is alive only with weak & shitty & second league.
Because I telling you: “If no Abstiegsgefahr in a league, a league is a bullshit-league. If no Aufstiegsziel in a league, a league is a bullshit league.
You don't believe me? I give you example: Everybody know Serbia-Montenegra League: Serbia-Montenegra League is fucking hardest league of world. Why? Because you are fucked every ZAT? Because you play against ugly bastard like TC and Mister Hadschi |
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and Bernd W? Because you have to visit shit-hole like Cuckaricki, Sartid and Novi Sad? Because fenris is in same league as you? No! Eta normalna in SM...
Why also? I tell you truth: Because three teams will be fucked and must go Druga every season! If no danger from shithole like Druga, SM is not fucking hardest league in world but sissy league like Allsvenskan or Veijkauskiligigaga...easy eh? Cha Cha Cha...
So, people of Copa, listen to my signal: This is postulation for international Uzbekis soviet eh I mean solidarity for Copa bullshit leagues. This is seven commandments from Bernd W. for international solidarity and rescue of all Copa-League, no matter be it super-dooper or bullshit league:
1. All league are the same.
2. Whatever league is open, shall not be closed.
3. Whoever play in Druga League, is too weak for Prva Savezna.
4. Whoever play in Druga League, is his own fault.
4. Whoever play in Allsvenskan league, is his own fault.
5. Uzbekistan First Division shall be open.
6. Whoever play in Copa, is a good person.
7. All Copatador shall drink alcohol.
Spasiba. Sa Starovje.
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| 29.02.2012 17:55 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Dinamo vs Lokomotiv...sound like DDR Derby cha cha cha |
This latest news from Uzbekistan. Direktar Sport w Lokomotiv Tashkent, Bernd W. very nervous before this Friday. Reason is very intensive game with Dinamo Sarmakand and Mister Pep.
Bernd says: "For me important game is Derby with Traktor and Pakhtator. because Lokomotiv want be number 1 in Tashkent. But also game with Dinamo is funny game. I knowing Mister Pep from many other league. He great gentleman but very |
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lousy Direktar Sport cha cha cha. Today very important game: Number 5 of league table versas number 6 of league table: Lakamativ versas Dinamo,...sound like what people in Germany is calling Ostalgy cha cha cha...so to say DDR Derby cha cha cha.
On terrace of Lokomotiv-Stadium we expect many beautiful girl who will make lot of steam and noise and what is best: all having arses like Lakamativ cha cha cha... may the game begin... |
| 24.02.2012 10:22 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Thank You, Mister Tric ! |
Lokomotiv Tashkent has new emblem !
Bernd says: “ I say ‘ Thank you, Mister Tric!’ - Srbijan Chacker and Campjuter-Nörd, Mister Tric-o-tronic has completed his work in Uzbekistan after 8 months of heavy work during day and during night - yes, mainly during night hehehe… Mister Tric, or shall I say “Dirty Tric”, as he is called by many boys and girls in Tashkent red-light-district, has done a hard and successful job. Now he must leave very suddenly. I don’t understand – after 8 months ts ts ts… This very sad for all of us. We |
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will miss Mister Tric. He very famous in Tashkent: Some calling him “The Camel’s Finger”, some calling him “The Naked Partizan”, and some calling him simply “R’s Hole”... But every boy and every girl loving him. I see Ms. Elvijra and Ms. Oksana crying. Ms. Elvijra says to me: “He was a bit abartig, but he was a good man. I will miss his small cock.” Ms. Oksana says to me: “I will miss him. He never want ficki-ficki but only dodgy game with Camel and Cigar and Star Spangled Banner. He very generous man: pay a lot money without fuck. God bless him.”
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| 26.01.2012 12:25 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Goal of Season? |
Bernd W. Srbijan Superstar, who makes Direktar Sport from Uzbekistan traditional Fudbalski KLab Lokomotiv chas got message from Lokomotiv-President.
Bernd says: President of Lokomotiv want from me goal of season. I ask what you mean "Goal of Season"? Lokomotiv must score many goals of season for not making such bullshit-season as last season. But Mister President says Goal of Season must be registered today for last chance. I |
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| not understand what Mister President want from me? I sit in Tashkent-Bar and I ask my friend Miss Elvijra if she know what Mister President want from me? But Elvijra say she don't know. Elvijra says "Goal Of Season" is not same job of what Mister President usually ask from her. I very puzzled. I chav no time for political game of Mister President. I chav job to do. I chav to make Lokomotiv successful team and number 1 in Tashkent. |
| 13.01.2012 18:19 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Please seriously now, Mr. Bernd |
Mr. W. still drunk from success from last season what present international tournament to Lakamativ...
Inside Lakamativ Apparat not very well seen that Mr. W. is chappy. Lakamativ Apparat does not know Chappyness. Does not know Joy. Does not know Beauty in Game. Lakamativ Apparat only know Disziplin and Success. Disziplin and Success is what maka Lakamativ survive in Soviet Time. Disziplin and Success is what make Lakamativ survive in Tashkent with two other klub. Lakamativ Apparatschik want to make western Banause, what is Mr. W., understand rule of Lakamativ, what is rule of Tashkent, what is rule of Prafessional Futbal Ligasi, what is Rule of Uzbekistan.
Mr. W. still drunk from success from last season what present international tournament to Lakamativ... |
| 04.05.2012 15:29 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Tsch tsch tsch tsch tsch… |
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
Wellcum to U.Z.E. train from Tashkent main station to cheaven. Lakamativ will start shortly. Please take your seat and enjoy a ride. We offer you manual and oral on board service. Please call for train assistant Ms. Okasana and Ms. Elvijra. They will be chappy to serve you. For extended service during ride please visit our club wagon in front of train. Here you can find special salon “Franz kiss” and “Hellas”. We wish you pleasure journey.
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30min after Tashkent:
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…”Ladies and gentlemen, please sit down and fasten seat belt (if you can find one cha cha cha): Lakamativ captain chas identified dead Traktor on rails in front of us. It is too late to brake, Lakamativ captain has decided to ride over it on full gaz…”
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| 30.12.2011 09:17 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| First we take Tashkent... |
Uzbeki news catch Bernd W., Direktar Sport of Lokomotiv Tashkent, on his way to Tashkent bar, where he will spend last ZAT of season with his friends Vodka, professor Igor, Mister tric-o-tronic, and with prostitutes Elvijra and Oksana.
Bernd says: “What shall I say? Lakamativ Tashkent will make last place in Prafessional Futbal Ligasi. We are baddest team of League. We are baddest team of Home-Table. We are baddest team of Away-Table. We score least goals. We have baddest goals-difference. And we are not even |
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counted in list of “Who is coolest Fox of the league?”
We have no new emblem and we have no pride. This is blackest day of my Copa-career.
But I say to my team: ‘We must be like Fenix-bird. We must stand up from ashes of this season and fuck up everybody. We will fuck up Traktor. And we will fuck up Pakhtator. And we will fuck up Dinamo, Qizilqum, and even Jizzax, which name sound like a sound of ejaculation cha cha cha…! Be prepared! Tonite, 19:01, new season will start for Lakamativ and
First we take Tashkent…” |
| 09.12.2011 15:32 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| D'u F'ic'ki F'ic'ki? |
Sport Direktar w Lokomotiv Tashkent, Srbijan superstar Bernd W., not on media stage since a long time. Reason is Bernd was out of Tashkent.
Bernd says: " I make very good season with Lakamativ keeping 15 place. I hope we make Mister Eberl last place. I predict Mr. Eberl play 6:6 three times while Lakamativ make easy win cha cha cha !
But now no joking: Next season everything must be very other: Lakamativ want to be top-team. Want to be Number 1 in Tashkent and fucking up Traktor and Pakthator cha cha cha!
Therefore I travel |
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lot of Uzbekistan during last weeks. I making scout for Lakamativ team in next season. I bring many young players from countryside. In Uzbekistan countryside population is very friendly. All girls greeting me with typical Uzbeki greeting word: "D'u F'ic'ki F'ic'ki?" And all men greeting me, too: "D'u F'ic'ki F'ic'ki?" So I very chappy and looking farward to next season. So I want to say to all fans from Lakamoativ "Thank you and D'u F'ic'ki F'ic'ki!"
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| 02.12.2011 14:12 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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| Choliday-Train |
Bernd says: "Sorry. I chav not much time. I always must make Choliday-Train. But I Direktar of Lakamativ, so no problem for me to make Choliday-Train. But Choliday Train require some think of future. This impossible in Uzbekistan. Because tomorrow you may be dead. You understand ? Cha cha cha...
Choliday-Train is not some philosophy for Uzbeki people. Uzbeki people live for today. Uzbeki woman says: Tomorrow blood in Buxoro may be gone. So spend his money today cha cha cha...
And Uzbeki man says: better put your tongue on Quizilqum today because tomorrow her husband is back...
You understand what I want saying: How can you step on Choliday train, when you are making love in the station?" |
| 11.11.2011 16:16 - Bernd W. - Lokomotiv Tashkent (0.3 TK) |
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November 12 
Bernd W. 
